Supporting Role

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It is a strange feeling to be 40, feeling soo young and have a 24 year old daughter! I am proud of her. She is starting her job at a hospital tomorrow in the cancer center as a medical assistant. She has been going to school for several years getting her prerequisites out of the way so she can take the nursing program. But there's a long waiting list. A couple years ago she decided to take the year off and take the MA course. It's a good thing because now she has a way to provide for her kids and get some experience in a medical setting while she waits to take the nurse's training. She posted a pic of her work badge on Facebook and I looked at it and just thought about her when she was first born as her dad held her next to me on the delivery table...I remember those wide-open eyes and that little Jenessa face.

Coming out of a 17 year long bad relationship (not her father) and looking at what I have accomplished or the lack of what I have accomplished, I have wondered if my choices were right. I have wondered if I should have worked on myself and my life more, instead of just being with the kids. I had such a strong commitment to trying to keep them from having the life I did growing up. I wanted them in school and in church when I was converted. I spent many years driving them to schools that were smaller and at times Christian. It always felt like an uphill battle because of the marriage I was in. But I went through a lot of changes in my thinking in order to leave for good. But I also saw God's hand leading me out..step by step. Which took a lot of steps and a lot of time. The one thing I have spent my life on, keeping my kids from the life I had, I feel I have accomplished.

I was raised without boundaries, without guidance and allowed to make so many mistakes.

And I look at my girl's pic today, I know all the hard work she has put in, whether it was in college or the MA course, whether it was at home being a mommy, and I have to say the sacrifice was worth it. My son is also in school, studying graphic design. He's the artist in the family and is very creative. Says what does he need academics for? He took all art classes this year :)

These two were my babies I had when I was a teenager. All I tried to do was make sure they were in school (I was strict) and that they did not get involved with drugs and things like that. I took them to church every week for as long as they lived with me after we started going. They are not perfect, that's for sure, but they are awesome people. The challenge continues now with my youngest 3. But God is good and I know He will provide just what is needed to raise these guys on my own.

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