Life in His Hand

I've really been praying for God's plan over the past couple of years. I've noticed a change in myself. A lot of what I used to think I had to do or was very important has faded. Not because they're not important or good, they are just not my focus anymore. Some say, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", thinking that they can truly do every good thing. Since it's good, it is obvious it must be God's plan. I have much experience with this kind of thinking. I have attempted godly things and thought God would help me do it because of that verse. And I have failed a lot. As an example, I tried homeschooling. Not once, but twice. First with my older kids and then with the younger ones. I thought I needed to save them, since they weren't able to go to a Christian school. It didn't work out either time. Both experiences taught me one BIG lesson... homeschooling was definitely not for me! Or my kids, for that matter. Some people

Just this once, I'm going to be real. Honest truth is I don't know how to be real and blog. People see this. It's weird. I've been looking at blogs and came across one that interested me. The girl seemed sad and lonely. And very open about her feelings. I wonder how she does it. How does she say what's in her heart? As if it were a private journal. I keep a prayer journal. I pour almost everything out in it. Though, unfortunately, I've learned I can't be as free as I'd like in there either. So only in my thoughts and prayers am I truly free. Maybe that's the way it should be, I don't know.                               I don't have it all together. Not even close. I don't think I ever will. But I keep telling myself that God has a plan. So when things don't go right, I chalk it up to... trials make you stronger. And you learn to desperately love God. If my life would've been so wonderful, I may not have even needed God. It woul

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.                                      ~this version has been attributed to Mother Theresa This inspires me to do the things that are hard, that are unappreciated or don't seem to matter or

He is jealous for me Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory And I realize just how beautiful you are  And how great your affections are for me                                                           We are His portion and He is our prize Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss And my heart turns violently inside of my chest I don't have time to maintain these regrets When I think about the way That He loves us Oh how He loves us

Recently, I did a lesson with my junior class at church. It was on faith and trust. I held up a dot-to-dot and asked them to tell me what the picture was going to be. Of course they didn't know. But they believed that if we connected all the dots, in the right order, eventually we'd get a picture. And that's the way it is with God... We cannot always see where He's leading or why He would take us in a certain direction. Sometimes it's hard to understand why God allows things to happen to us.   I tend to get a little doubtful when I cannot see how it is all supposed to work out. So I ask God tons of questions. A few of which, I ask over and over and He answers them the same way every time. And I still doubt! The lesson mentioned a song that says, " When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart." Lately as I've been finding myself  very confused with the things that God is saying to me,  I am having to trust His heart. Trust that He loves me

There is one gift the Lord gives which is sweeter than most anything. True Christian friendship. It's the kind your heart longs for if you do not possess it and rejoices in, when you do. It's the meeting of heart and mind and soul together with others to worship God. I am so privileged, at this time, to have this wonderful, close, bond with the women in my Bible study group.  Jesus says...Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20 I've not always had this type of intimacy. I remember years of feeling lonely in church, of feeling isolated. There were friends, acquaintances and people you greeted every week, but for me, it wasn't enough. I longed for more. I decided to put together a small group to meet in a home where we could really focus on God. It truly turned out to be a blessing. We were drawn closer to God and each other. It was a great source of strength and joy. When the group had to end, it left a void in my li

I have a terribly sad confession to make. I cannot visualize. Just ask the walls of any house I've ever lived in. I have to see the picture on the wall...and I also can't hang them straight, so even if it turns out to look ok, I still have to rehang it. Apparently that also applies to this blog. I have changed backgrounds too many times. I think I like it now...but  give me a few days. Oh and btw, I repaired the holes in the walls. Not to worry. If you ever come back here, there's a good chance it'll look different. I would prefer it stay the same, though, but we'll see.

I'd like to share a little bit about me and God. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but I was taken to church from time to time. Being extremely shy, I was always uncomfortable going to the class they offered for my age and I would just rather stay in Cradle Roll with the babies. Years later when I would finally make a commitment to God, that's where I ended up - back in Cradle Roll, with the babies. God knows exactly where we need to be and why. My memories of church, as a child, include kneeling for prayer on dark, chocolate brown carpet, hearing the church folk softly and reverently sing "Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow" (The Doxology) after the prayer, sitting on velvety soft green pews drawing many happy pictures with suns, trees, grass and flowers on tithe envelopes, looking at "Our Little Friend" papers, gazing in awe at the beautiful, arched, wooden ceiling, and the second best thing next to "Praise God From Whom All Blessing