Life in His Hand

Five Minute Friday With The Gypsymama I am writing on a new topic each week, for five minutes, without editing. So here goes. Sometimes in order to grow one must experience pain. if you are caught in a behavoir that you cannot free yourself from, it starts to become uncomfortable. Guilt. Then you realize you must make a change or you will destroy yourself and possibly all those you love. This is when it gets hard. You have to say no. War with your nature. Look away, turn away, cut your hand off. pluck your eye out. It hurts to grow. But it is good and necesary. If you don't grow you die. Shrivel up and blow away in the wind.

It was the first day of November twenty years ago. A dreary day with clouds and drizzle which eventually gave way to rain. Cold November Rain. "Please just drive," I said to my friend, Dave, as I wiped away the tears that just kept coming. I felt sad. Not for me so much as for the little life just confirmed by a pregnancy test at the health department. A little life I'd suspected. A little life I loved with all my heart. I knew it would be hard for him to not have a father in his life. As soon as I got in the truck, I turned on the radio. "November Rain" came on. I looked out the window and cried. Dave drove.                                                                                                           ...

                     Discovered this song tonight. It just fits.                                                                                                    Even in the darkness                                     Even in the questions                                     Even in the times that                                     I'm not meant to understand               ...

On Fridays I will be writing for five minutes - no editing - on different topics every week. To see what others write or to join us- check out the link. http://thegypsymama.com Unexpected The most unexpected thing that has happened in my life is God. I didn't ever expect to be a Christian in the first place. i was into heavy-metal, and lived a life without God. When i finally found Him or vice-versa, it was a totally unexpected surprise. He surprises me constantly. With His love... overwhelming. The hope He gives me. The gifts he's given. The fulfillment. I now have a life that I didn't think was possible. Where dreams do come true, where love is true.

Read a very good article today. It really brought the truth home in my life. Every couple of weeks or so God shows me reality. Today is one of those times. I am thankful to God for the way He moves in my life. I always know He's right here next to me. I am praying he shows me how to deal with this reality. I understand His heart, His thoughts on the issues and even His direction, but I don't see how to actually do what He is showing me. I need Him to build a bridge for me. Today I will pray and lose myself a little in all I need to do. He'll reveal. In His time and in His way. I know things don't always happen overnight and with God, sometimes they seem to drag on aggravatingly slow. I am hoping that's what's happening and not just me mistakenly waiting.  Right now I feel such a peace. That I truly am resting in God's care. Maybe you are experiencing something similar. Or maybe you're waiting for answers, for guidance. If you're open to r...

I love old houses. I feel really sad to see them like this. To me this house is still beautiful, still majestic. I imagine all the rooms. All the detailed woodwork and moulding inside, the stairway, the high ceilings and old fixtures that are still intact. Like doorknobs, locks and hinges. Probably some of the original glass is still in the windows. At one point someone must have really loved this house.  This is a storybook house. It reminds me of the "The Secret Garden." It's tucked away and hidden. I can imagine myself wandering through the woods and stumbling upon it. Then bringing paint and other things to fix it up. I read a book once when I was a kid about a girl who found a house and did that, but I can't remember the name. When I see a house like this, it makes me think of the little farm family that once lived here. If I try hard enough I can still see kids running through the yard laughing and mama hanging clothes on the line. Simpler times, simpl...

                                              Hmm... an average day. But it's the only one I have. It's Monday so that means the house is messier than usual because I don't believe in cleaning much on the weekend- haha. So what I should do is clean of course. I need to do laundry and I would like to work on figuring out just how to organize my tiny bedroom with it's micro closet. I believe it can be done but... where to start? Well the right question would be- what to toss? I have an armoire which is full and three tall bookshelves taking up one wall because my living room is too small to house them and I love my books! I wish it were easier to simplify. I wish I knew how to need less. I have a few storage boxes full of papers- I hate sorting. So those always get put off until never. When we were planning on moving to this tiny house, I pretty much became addicted to wat...