Chocolate Fix

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Had a dream last night that my husband gave me two little bags of chocolate, trying to make up. I looked at them and just threw them onto the floor where he was standing, saying, "Chocolate isn't going to fix our relationship!"

I don't know where that came from; I haven't had chocolate in over a month. Two good points: I didn't accept the chocolate and I didn't accept him back.

So what's up with chocolate? Well you see a couple of months ago, I heard a sermon. The man giving it had a wayward daughter at a university and he had been very concerned about her behavior there. He decided to fast from something that he consumed that wasn't good for him and to pray. And with tears in his eyes, he said that within two weeks, she decided to move back home.

Our problems have been pretty ongoing, seemingly neverending. I was always dealing with it. I decided to fast something that was near and dear to my heart...candy! I was eating way too much of the stuff! It wasn't long after and he decided to leave. It could've happened anyway, I suppose, but I do believe it was connected to my prayers and God saw my seriousness by my sacrifice. I believe in fasting and that there are more ways than one to do it. I wanted something I could fast longer than one day from (that's as long as I can fast from eating).

Just like chocolate has the uncanny ability to bring comfort to a woman's soul, so does staying in a familiar place, however unhealthy it may be. While knowing it's bad for you, it's comfortable in a weird way.

So my dream really makes a lot of sense to me. I go all over in my mind - is it my fault? Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I be trying to get him to stay? And then I answer myself and remind myself of the reality of the situation. Of the reality that this is the best thing.

So will I eat chocolate again? Maybe, but not right now. I am still fasting and praying. I still need to be closer to God and have His guidance and strength.

Plus I have lost 11 pounds!

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