Splashes of Light

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I feel like I am walking through a dark tunnel with splashes of light here and there. There just seems to be a constant heaviness in my chest and a tenseness in my body that doesn't go away--except for occasional moments where I feel like I'm lifted up; fleeting moments in which I can forget reality for a little while. But no lasting peace. No feeling of "it's gonna be okay". I have to remind myself that God will see me through this.

This is what needed to happen, I just didn't expect it to be so hard.

Sources of Light:

God--He has been very close to me, giving guidance and hope.

Friends & Family--offering encouragement and support & prayer.

Music--it lifts me up.

Home--changed some things around which lifted my spirits.

Kids--doing things with the church kids, as well as with my own, brings a lot of joy to my life.

Nature--blue skies and sunshine always make me feel hopeful.

Dogs--this one's weird for me, but I even like the dogs more now.

Humor--thanks to friends that like to have fun and make me laugh.

Eventually I'll see the end of the tunnel. But for now I'll appreciate the splashes of light that come and brighten up my life.




Comments

  1. CritJune 13, 2012 at 7:49 AM

    This is time for you to work on getting you well and healthy. Think (and make a list) about what you want your life to be like--things that are within your control and not dependent upon someone else, like "I want to spend more time outdoors" and then think about what steps you need to take to make that happen. Think about what makes YOU happy and then do those things!

    Also remember that grief is real and normal and natural. You don't need to pretend things are alright when they are not. You don't need to hide behind a mask. Just be real. You are worthy of love just the way you are :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JohannaJune 13, 2012 at 2:53 PM

      Thanks, Christa!! You always have great advice!!! Yep--time to throw the old mask away! I think I'm gonna go and make a happy list. I like the sound of that!

      Delete

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