Step Out of the Boat
It has been almost eight months since this year began. And what a crazy, WONDERFUL year it has been!!! So many things have changed! My life has changed!
As the New Year was approaching, I decided to pray for a word that would describe it somehow; to give me an idea of what God had in store for me. The year before, I prayed for a word and I was impressed with "trust". And wow! Did a lot of amazing things happen that showed just Who was truly in charge and just how BIG He was! One of the major things that happened, last year, was for us to move into our current house which has enabled me to do what God had planned for me to do this year. Everything builds. I'll tell you the story of my little, blue house some other time.
So I began praying and right away, the word "step" came into my mind. And it persisted. I said, "Oh no, Lord! I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does." Step out of the boat, Peter! Time to get out of your comfort-zone. The year of "trust" really prepared for this year. God has been leading me out for many years with little, tiny, baby steps. And this year came the BIG steps!
There were two things that automatically came to mind when I heard the word "step"--my fear of speaking and leading out and my fears surrounding getting out of my marriage.
It didn't take long and my sister and I were seriously planning a youth series that I had wanted to do for over a year. And yes, although I have been teaching kids for many years, there was just something intimidating about being in the church leading out. But God is good and I had my fearless sister there with me, so I didn't have to do it alone. And then came the week when she couldn't come and I had to do it all myself, but I got through it. That lasted about 5 weekends. From there I had people who wanted me to keep doing something on the weekends. And so I played around with the idea of having a youth night.
About the same time the youth series ended, a couple of ladies were wanting to start a prayer-meeting on Friday night. They asked someone that said no and then asked me. This was WAY out of my comfort zone!!!! But I knew I was supposed to do it. I knew it was the next step. I had been leading out in my own small group at home for awhile and had in the past. So I told them that I would, but I didn't want to do it alone! So I joined forces with my sister and my mom(there's safety in numbers, right?). And lo and behold, after a few weeks, for whatever reason, my two helpers(we were rotating)couldn't be there. And yes, I tried to quit, but was persuaded to hang in there. At first, it was terrifying, until I was about 5 minutes into it and then it was down-graded to uncomfortable, but strangely enjoyable. As time went by, it gradually got easier and less frightening. I felt wonderful just being able to overcome a fear that really was phobic for me. My worst fear.
Somewhere in there, I had a young guy ask me to start a youth group. So I decided to go ahead with the plans of having a youth night every other Saturday night. So there was more "opportunity" to get over my fear and do something enjoyable and needed.
I knew it was God's plan for me. The awesome and wonderful thing about it all is this--a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have been ready to conquer these fears. And at that time, God wasn't pushing me to do something that wasn't doable. He was giving me baby steps, like just asking for prayer requests during the service or singing up front(in a group) and small things like that. He knew the depth of my fear and worked gently with me. I'm not totally fearless now, but have come a long way. There are still situations I'd still like to hide from.
The other major thing was my fear surrounding my getting out of the marriage. I knew it was unhealthy and making me continually miserable, but there was such a fear of not making it. This one took a lot of prayer. I believe I prayed my way out. This one's tough to talk about because there are still so many things that are up in the air. I am holding onto God's hand and trusting in Him. I am praying this weekend for real guidance regarding some pretty important decisions I need to make. One thing is for sure--there's no turning back, only moving forward, through whatever comes.
And so there have been lots of things changing and they continue to do so. I am curious what my life will look like come the New Year. I am equally curious as to what next year's word will be. Until then...I'm walkin' on water! As long as I keep my eyes focused on the Lord, I won't have to freak out because of all the circumstances around me and sink.
Is God moving you out of your comfort-zone? Is there something He's calling you to do? Maybe something that you need to change in your life. There's a saying I like--if God calls you to it, He'll see you through it. I am finding this to be true. God provides what we need, when we need it.
There were two things that automatically came to mind when I heard the word "step"--my fear of speaking and leading out and my fears surrounding getting out of my marriage.
It didn't take long and my sister and I were seriously planning a youth series that I had wanted to do for over a year. And yes, although I have been teaching kids for many years, there was just something intimidating about being in the church leading out. But God is good and I had my fearless sister there with me, so I didn't have to do it alone. And then came the week when she couldn't come and I had to do it all myself, but I got through it. That lasted about 5 weekends. From there I had people who wanted me to keep doing something on the weekends. And so I played around with the idea of having a youth night.
About the same time the youth series ended, a couple of ladies were wanting to start a prayer-meeting on Friday night. They asked someone that said no and then asked me. This was WAY out of my comfort zone!!!! But I knew I was supposed to do it. I knew it was the next step. I had been leading out in my own small group at home for awhile and had in the past. So I told them that I would, but I didn't want to do it alone! So I joined forces with my sister and my mom(there's safety in numbers, right?). And lo and behold, after a few weeks, for whatever reason, my two helpers(we were rotating)couldn't be there. And yes, I tried to quit, but was persuaded to hang in there. At first, it was terrifying, until I was about 5 minutes into it and then it was down-graded to uncomfortable, but strangely enjoyable. As time went by, it gradually got easier and less frightening. I felt wonderful just being able to overcome a fear that really was phobic for me. My worst fear.
Somewhere in there, I had a young guy ask me to start a youth group. So I decided to go ahead with the plans of having a youth night every other Saturday night. So there was more "opportunity" to get over my fear and do something enjoyable and needed.
I knew it was God's plan for me. The awesome and wonderful thing about it all is this--a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have been ready to conquer these fears. And at that time, God wasn't pushing me to do something that wasn't doable. He was giving me baby steps, like just asking for prayer requests during the service or singing up front(in a group) and small things like that. He knew the depth of my fear and worked gently with me. I'm not totally fearless now, but have come a long way. There are still situations I'd still like to hide from.
The other major thing was my fear surrounding my getting out of the marriage. I knew it was unhealthy and making me continually miserable, but there was such a fear of not making it. This one took a lot of prayer. I believe I prayed my way out. This one's tough to talk about because there are still so many things that are up in the air. I am holding onto God's hand and trusting in Him. I am praying this weekend for real guidance regarding some pretty important decisions I need to make. One thing is for sure--there's no turning back, only moving forward, through whatever comes.
And so there have been lots of things changing and they continue to do so. I am curious what my life will look like come the New Year. I am equally curious as to what next year's word will be. Until then...I'm walkin' on water! As long as I keep my eyes focused on the Lord, I won't have to freak out because of all the circumstances around me and sink.
Is God moving you out of your comfort-zone? Is there something He's calling you to do? Maybe something that you need to change in your life. There's a saying I like--if God calls you to it, He'll see you through it. I am finding this to be true. God provides what we need, when we need it.
"As long as I keep my eyes focused on the Lord, I won't have to freak out because of all the circumstances around me and sink."
ReplyDeleteI love this thought. I keep hearing various wordings of it around the internet these days. Such an awesome and TRUE way to focus on God.