Should I have This Blog?
I can't decide whether I need this blog, want this blog, should have this blog. The idea behind this one is that I can just come on here and say whatever I feel like saying. So my hang-up is...do I want people reading what I really feel? Of course I am not putting everything on here. Not in the least. You know what? It is hard to be who you are. Well, for me, it seems to be. And yet I am compelled to write stuff down. It's just what I do. They actually say writing is the most real you can get. Because it's your thoughts just flowing onto 'paper'. I've always sort of been this way. When I was a kid I wrote stories, tried to have a diary, but wasn't good at that. My cousins and I wrote letters to each other all the time. Still have a lot of them. Kept trying the diary thing and would write occasionally in there. A lot of times, I wasn't able to tell people my feelings and so writing came in handy. How many ended up in the garbage, who can know? Don't get me started on the "love letters" Yikes!!
It was when I became a Christian and started having some real trials that I seriously began journaling. A prayer journal. Dear Lord....and I would just pour it out. At first, when I decided to try to write just about everyday, as a way to maintain my prayer-life, it was hard. But as it became a habit, it got a whole lot easier. I'd read the Bible too. Maybe the promises. Ask God a bunch of questions. Pretty soon I craved this time with God and almost every chance I could get, especially when I was having problems, I'd get that journal and just be with God. Just me and Him, focused. My relationship really began to grow because of this. He answered too. Kind of in the same way. Mainly through speaking to me through His written word, in various ways. This is how we relate to each other. Have I mentioned how much I truly love this God? Wow! He amazes me.
I have stacks of prayer-journals now. Stacks and stacks. From over the past twelve years. Most of them are within the last 10 years when I decided to faithfully write. I have an ongoing conversation with God throughout the day in my mind and sometimes out loud as well as focused prayer time. But when I can, I write things down. In letter form. I tell Him everything I am going through, all my hopes and dreams. Spill it out when I am excited, when I am upset, when I am afraid, worried, nervous, broken, happy. There's a lot of praise I pour out in there, too. It's a record of my life and my relationship with Him.
I remember about 5 years ago or so and I'd be watching 3ABN, a Christian t.v. station, and I'd have a pen in my hand and my journal and the founder would be talking about the time when God asked Moses,"What's that you have in your hand?" Then the founder of the network would say...what's that you have in your hand? (to use/give to God) and I'd think about it and look at my hand and there'd ALWAYS be a pen. ALWAYS!!
And I'd go through the rundown...I really don't write anything besides writing in my journal, I don't have money, musical talent, though I do love to sing, it's not my gift, I don't have any great thing I do. I just have this pen in my hand and all I use it for is to communicate with God. Then I'd think...the journal represents my relationship with Him. I also would teach Sabbath school for the kids at church.
So when I heard about a ministry that is run by SDA Christians, called "Someone Cares Prison Ministry" where you write and encourage prisoners and help them to know Jesus, if they're open...I thought -now there's a way to use my pen and share my relationship with God. So I did that for awhile and stopped. Then a couple years ago, I picked it back up again. It is very hard to find the time to write, but it's a worthy thing to do. But I do struggle with being consistent and I'm afraid I'm not winning the battle.
So after doing that for a couple of years, I stumbled upon the idea of blogging on Facebook when a friend started one. And at that moment I knew I wanted to have one. So I kicked it around for about six months before I started writing one. So here's the point I am trying to make. I wanted a blog to talk about God. My journal was for talking to Him. I needed an outlet to talk about Him more. because I love talking about God, but don't always have willing people who want to listen. So a blog fulfills that purpose pretty well. Also I am using my "pen" and sharing my relationship with God with others. Before becoming a Christian, I had no idea what it meant to have a relationship with God. After becoming a Christian, I still didn't really get it for awhile. Just how personal He is. Just how real and loving He is. Since then, I have learned so much about this through my experience, that I want to share it, in hopes that someone may learn about what I think is the single most important thing someone could ever hope to find in this life. So I don't claim to be some great writer. I am not descriptive or flowery in my writing. Basically I am just writing in my journal. Well in the first blog I started and still have, I have some stories and other things in there. It takes some effort, a little different than my journal. OKAY! So...that brings me here, to this blog. Do I need, want, should I have...this blog? The blog for writing what I want to write, spill out, say? Almost more for me more than anything. A little more on the personal side because of the problems and struggles I write about. Hmmm...good question. I have deleted this a lot of times. I am not completely comfortable with it, I suppose, but I want/need to express myself. So for today, I shall keep it!! Maybe this is a blog I can turn on and off. Or close.
Oh and of course...you should have a prayer-journal. It's so good for you.
It was when I became a Christian and started having some real trials that I seriously began journaling. A prayer journal. Dear Lord....and I would just pour it out. At first, when I decided to try to write just about everyday, as a way to maintain my prayer-life, it was hard. But as it became a habit, it got a whole lot easier. I'd read the Bible too. Maybe the promises. Ask God a bunch of questions. Pretty soon I craved this time with God and almost every chance I could get, especially when I was having problems, I'd get that journal and just be with God. Just me and Him, focused. My relationship really began to grow because of this. He answered too. Kind of in the same way. Mainly through speaking to me through His written word, in various ways. This is how we relate to each other. Have I mentioned how much I truly love this God? Wow! He amazes me.
I have stacks of prayer-journals now. Stacks and stacks. From over the past twelve years. Most of them are within the last 10 years when I decided to faithfully write. I have an ongoing conversation with God throughout the day in my mind and sometimes out loud as well as focused prayer time. But when I can, I write things down. In letter form. I tell Him everything I am going through, all my hopes and dreams. Spill it out when I am excited, when I am upset, when I am afraid, worried, nervous, broken, happy. There's a lot of praise I pour out in there, too. It's a record of my life and my relationship with Him.
I remember about 5 years ago or so and I'd be watching 3ABN, a Christian t.v. station, and I'd have a pen in my hand and my journal and the founder would be talking about the time when God asked Moses,"What's that you have in your hand?" Then the founder of the network would say...what's that you have in your hand? (to use/give to God) and I'd think about it and look at my hand and there'd ALWAYS be a pen. ALWAYS!!
And I'd go through the rundown...I really don't write anything besides writing in my journal, I don't have money, musical talent, though I do love to sing, it's not my gift, I don't have any great thing I do. I just have this pen in my hand and all I use it for is to communicate with God. Then I'd think...the journal represents my relationship with Him. I also would teach Sabbath school for the kids at church.
So when I heard about a ministry that is run by SDA Christians, called "Someone Cares Prison Ministry" where you write and encourage prisoners and help them to know Jesus, if they're open...I thought -now there's a way to use my pen and share my relationship with God. So I did that for awhile and stopped. Then a couple years ago, I picked it back up again. It is very hard to find the time to write, but it's a worthy thing to do. But I do struggle with being consistent and I'm afraid I'm not winning the battle.
So after doing that for a couple of years, I stumbled upon the idea of blogging on Facebook when a friend started one. And at that moment I knew I wanted to have one. So I kicked it around for about six months before I started writing one. So here's the point I am trying to make. I wanted a blog to talk about God. My journal was for talking to Him. I needed an outlet to talk about Him more. because I love talking about God, but don't always have willing people who want to listen. So a blog fulfills that purpose pretty well. Also I am using my "pen" and sharing my relationship with God with others. Before becoming a Christian, I had no idea what it meant to have a relationship with God. After becoming a Christian, I still didn't really get it for awhile. Just how personal He is. Just how real and loving He is. Since then, I have learned so much about this through my experience, that I want to share it, in hopes that someone may learn about what I think is the single most important thing someone could ever hope to find in this life. So I don't claim to be some great writer. I am not descriptive or flowery in my writing. Basically I am just writing in my journal. Well in the first blog I started and still have, I have some stories and other things in there. It takes some effort, a little different than my journal. OKAY! So...that brings me here, to this blog. Do I need, want, should I have...this blog? The blog for writing what I want to write, spill out, say? Almost more for me more than anything. A little more on the personal side because of the problems and struggles I write about. Hmmm...good question. I have deleted this a lot of times. I am not completely comfortable with it, I suppose, but I want/need to express myself. So for today, I shall keep it!! Maybe this is a blog I can turn on and off. Or close.
Oh and of course...you should have a prayer-journal. It's so good for you.
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