Life in His Hand

This breaks my heart! I know what it's like to be down and out. Thankfully, I have not been homeless, but it would be so easy to become that way. God has such a heart for the poor and needy.

As I look at the clutter around me, I just want to have it disappear, but it's pretty stubborn. It sticks around and grows. Lately, I have given a lot of thought to further simplifying my life and surroundings. Not only attacking the clutter in my home, but the clutter in my heart and mind as well. The clutter taking up my emotions and motivations, helping me forget my true priorities and robbing me of the space I need to give to what really matters in my life. I want to have less. Less dishes. Less books. Less papers. Less clothes. Less useless and unused junk. Less worries about what others think. Less concern over other people's expectations. Less need to be someone other than who I am. This will carve out the space needed for who God intends me to be. God has given me what I can carry. He has assigned my place here and has given me this lot. I have managed to allow the junk to clutter up what He intends to be small and manageable until it feels overwhelming. So today, I...

Gnomeo with my first baby tomato. Amongst the snapdragons.

Decided when I saw the hands yesterday, that it would be good for my blog! I have been wanting to change things up for awhile. To make it more personal. This really feels like me now. I hope to feel more inspired to write in here. My blog is like a scrapbook filled with bits and pieces of my life that find their way from my brain to my "paper". Oh that's a scary thought!

When I was 13 years old, we lived near some train tracks that were in the middle of town. In this area the trains were usually just parked. But sometimes they were rolling along at a slow pace at night and  me and my friends, being the crazy kids we were, would often run alongside them and hop on the ladders. Hoppin' trains! Crazy! Without thought; without regard for our safety. And that reminds me of the way I used to pick guys. Which explains a lot! Since the day my ex moved out, it seems the guys have been falling out of the sky! I have dealt with many. It was weird and I was a little naive (rusty!lol) after sooo many years of not being single. I'll tell you what, I have been learning so much in this area!! The other day, my oldest daughter posted this saying on my Facebook wall, "If a train doesn't stop at your station, it isn't your train!" Haha...that one really made so much sense to me and has stuck in my head. I thought once that I met someone who ...

One day I imagine I will put my complete trust in my Heavenly Father! He is always proving how very faithful He is. Today was another example of His love and care. I mentioned before that when I worry He says seek first My kingdom and My righteousness and ALL these things will be given to you as well...speaking of our everyday needs. I have an arrangement with my landlady. I keep up the yards and property in exchange for the utilities. So mowing her lawn and my lawn are not a problem. She has a nice riding lawn mower. It's almost actually fun! The problem comes with the mini field I have behind my house--then there's a drive that separates us. This "field" is too bumpy for her mower and I used to have a really old beat up lawn mower I used on it but it quit. I had told her that, but today she was saying how I needed to get those weeds down. So I prayed, Lord I need to be able to mow this. Please help me somehow. I prayed that the old beat up mower would work as I pu...

Feeling so much regret for past mistakes... God whispers, "I have plans for you." Thinking back over the recent past, just a few minutes ago, I was overcome with the sickening feeling of all-consuming regret. I knew better! I sold myself short. I disappointed God. Not once, not twice but repeatedly. But God didn't turn on me. He tried so many times to get through, but I was weak and then confused. I prayed and He heard. He didn't leave, He kept trying to pull me out. Seems God has to keep repeating Himself to me. He is patient. Thank You, God, for the way You love. For the way You pull us out of the miry clay we cannot free ourselves from.

Some days this blog feels pointless. I ask myself why? And usually answer with--well it helps me cope or someday, my kids may read it if something should happen to me... And then there are times where I am on Facebook and a friend is dealing with something tough and I'll remember something I wrote on here. Usually about God and the way He comforts. I have shared with people several times. Recently I had a Facebook friend dealing with some church stuff. I had written a blog that was similar to what he was dealing with. I wanted to encourage him. He liked it and wanted to put it in his church newsletter that he edits. I'm supposed to receive a copy in the mail soon. Recently, got to share one with my best friend I just reconnected with. At times I write about what has happened in my life and its nice to have it handy to share. So I guess that's worth writing it. Besides, it just helps me. I need to write things down to process them. I keep a prayer journal as well, for that...