Life in His Hand

Gnomeo with my first baby tomato. Amongst the snapdragons.

I was reading back through my blog, during the time of my divorce over the summer. That was such a hard time for me. I was touched by the support I received on here at that time. I am here now with a lot of time in between then and now. I have learned that God can be trusted. That He sends you what you need--when you need it. Life was the same for me for so many years, all this change has been tough. I'm looking out over my life and saying, "Well now what do I do?" I know God has a plan and will guide me through the confusion I sometimes feel--all at the right time. Someday, I will look back on what's happening today and see how God's hand was leading me through this into the next phase. Little by little a more complete and stable picture will emerge. Until then, I am praying and trusting God. And I know we can trust Him to get us through the difficulties that come up. That even though we're not perfect, that we can tend to mess up things, He can still g...

To Blog or Not to Blog... And that is only the first question. I've had this idea floating around in my mind for awhile. Problem is it doesn't leave. So here I am...finally giving in to it. I am used to writing my thoughts down. It's  sort of a compulsion of mine or maybe just an addiction. Either way, I'm trapped. Usually I write things in a prayer journal for for only One Person to read, so this is definitely different. It feels strange and foreign, but as with anything, if I continue and do it often enough, it'll become more comfortable and maybe even...normal?   A few of my other questions are:  What should I write? What if nobody reads this? What if somebody actually reads this? Will I say something I shouldn't? Will I edit myself out? Why am I so insecure and lastly...does anybody even care? Not really. So I'm going to do it.  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------...

There's a big, big world out there... I've been praying a whole lot about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life now. I have NEVER felt as vulnerable as I do now. Everything's so up in the air. Major life changes are happening as if with a mind of their own. I guess I really have little control over most things. One thing I think of is the fact that my daughter's moving an hour away with my grandbabies. My sister also recently moved away, my kids will probably only be spending half their sabbaths with me. It's almost as if all the old is being torn away, and everything that was once so familiar will be replaced with new and different things. I'm in limbo...between what was and what will be. It's a weird place to be. I'm really praying for guidance and direction. As we've had some struggles lately, I've seen God use people to help with our needs. It has been amazing and faith-building. I believe God will make things clear to me and ope...

I am soo sentimental about things! I save old letters and cards and little mementos. I even have a hard time...well actually...I don't delete emails from friends. I have a friend that I email back and forth a lot. This friend deletes my emails (I'm so offended!!!!!). I save his, thinking...what if something were to happen to this person, I'd want to go back and  read them. Is that weird? Oh well. I am as sentimental as they come. I saved a lot of my kids' baby stuff and things I wrote when I was a kid. I have some of my grandmother's things and even my pink Barbie dress. I'm sure the list could go on and on and on... Okay, so we have an old picnic table out in our yard. It no longer can be moved--it's so rickety. It will literally fall to pieces if we try to move it. I mentioned getting rid of it and my youngest daughter Amanda, was like no mom, we have so many memories with that table. All the birthday parties and bar-b-ques. She said it more than once. A...

Had one kind of a day! Woke up bright and early for a Sunday...a little too bright and early. As I cleaned my room, I had a fight with a grey spider the size of my palm! I screamed...then he jumped at me! I bolted for the door to get the broom. When I got back I let out a super-loud yell and brought the broom smack down on him, squashing him dead with everything that was in me! I'm a loud, and vicious murderer when it comes to spiders...or crunchy sounding bugs!! I went to hang out with my grown daughter, Jenessa. Ended up at Wal-mart, of course!! We were looking around and I saw some books hanging up. I asked her, "What are those?" I didn't know if they were address books or what. "Journals." "Yournals?" I asked in my poorest play Spanish, where I turn everything  starting with "J's" into "Y's"...not "H's"..."Y's" I'm terribly goofy like that! She starts cracking up. "Uri...

Stumbled upon a young guy's blog today and found inspiration. He listed the day as Monday. Said he didn't even think he'd been outside for two days... Then said something about not having much to write about. I commented that I liked his blog. It was short, simple and to the point. His real voice. I didn't say that. Then I went back a little further to realize this guy was a singer-making music all night, so that explained why he hadn't been outside for two days. Oops. I also realized that he had a Tumblr he uses more and likes to post pics. I commented again, letting him know I hadn't gone back far enough to see he did have stuff to say. Nevertheless, I liked his blog when he didn't have much to say. So what inspired me? His real voice. Who he was came through. Just earlier today, I was thinking about how I just really don't have a lot of stuff to write about. How people probably wouldn't want to hear about my daily happenings. They...

I would just like to take a minute and say thank you to two very special and encouraging people-my blog buddies, Christa and Pam.  Thank you for supporting me during this difficult time...for reading my blog and for giving me so much encouragement as I say what I need to say. Your comments are always so caring and thoughtful. I truly appreciate you and I'd also like to add a thank you to everyone else that reads and/or comments.  Check out their awesome blogs! Christa's is Crit Chat and Pam's is Life as Pam . You're sure to be blessed!

Good news of the day!! I met with my Bible study group and one lady informed me that carob fugde is NOT candy! You see, at potluck after church, I absentmindedly gulped down one very extremely luscious piece, only to panic later - going - is that considered candy?! Sounds a bit pathetic, but I'm really trying to stick to my fast (from candy). So I was relieved when I was informed that since carob is not chocolate and is very good for you, it's not real candy! The recipe actually is a very healthy one with only a few ingredients and that stuff is good!! Not all carob recipes are as good as this one :) 1 1/2 c. carob chips 1/2 tbsp. margerine 1 c. peanut butter 1/2 c. walnuts, chopped 1/2 c. coconut,flaked (unsweetened) Mix the carob chips, margerine, and peanut butter in a bowl. Microwave for about 1 1/2 to 2 minutes to melt. Stir in the coconut and walnuts. Pour into a 9 by 9 inch buttered pan. Put in the refrigerator. Set until ready to serve. Cut into 1 1/2 inch squa...

Well, I am having some technical difficulties and wow am I feeling it! I miss reading your blogs and sharing with you all. I hope to have things worked out soon. I will be going through some transitions in my life and if you're a praying person, please remember me in your prayers. Meanwhile, the Youth Night was a hit!!! We watched a Louie Giglio talk, How Great is our God. Then we played a really fun game afterward and hung out. The kids had a blast and so did we...the adults. It was a great night. Hoping to share more as we go on. Some other good news!! My youngest daughter, Amanda, my niece Heather and our friend Martin are getting baptized this coming Sabbath. I am excited! We've been waiting for awhile, since we were in between pastors for several months. Hope to be back soon. Thanks for reading :)

Found a most unlikely friend! Sweet buffalo mama!

I just feel like writing and this isn't good. I've already posted something today and I'm pretty sure I have nothing to say, so whatever comes out will most likely be just a bunch of rambling. Oh well. My sister is getting ready to move away in the near future all the way to Florida! It will be strange with them missing. We have pretty much raised our kids together. I'm sure I will regret all those years of taking them for granted. I'm sure I will regret that we didn't spend more time together. I'm sure I will miss them more than I even know. Seems life is always about saying good-bye. Lately I've felt a little bit lost in my life. Almost like I'm just being carried along. Maybe not feeling really secure. I know why. It's because I am being asked to do things that I am not comfortable with. And I'm stressed . Then I try to forget it all, but the time comes...time never stops when you are dreading something!! Time becomes your worst enemy ...

I have now been blogging for 6 months! So far it has been pretty interesting and I have learned a lot. The number one thing is that I absolutely LOVE it! So I want to mention a few things that I have learned along the way. I love reading people's blogs! Maybe it's my own version of reality t.v. Since honestly, I don't watch much t.v. But hearing peoples thoughts and about what's going on in their lives and reading about the things they care about, is pretty interesting. I am getting an inside view of peoples lives and hearts that I'd otherwise probably never see from people I'd never meet. And most people don't share the details with you the way bloggers do, unless you're pretty good friends. There's a certain level of vulnerability that comes through and is beautiful.You can surely grow to care about the people you're reading. When they're going through hard times you sympathize and when they're full of joy, you celebrate and when they...

I know that you may come on here and every time it's different. Poor blog is having an identity crisis. I've had this blog for a few months and have learned what I like and what I don't. Not to mention, I found this cool header. So I hope to hold onto this design. No promises. I'm the same way with my house, I go through things quickly. I hope to be content and just write. Not that I am going to write so eloquently, I'm simply going to write what needs to be written, according to my feelings, my thoughts, what I'm studying or what I'm going through. I started another blog to just write like I would in my journal and I've noticed I haven't written on here as much...so I am wondering if another blog is really necessary. That's another reason I wanted to change the design to reflect what I like more. I think this blog now feels like it could cover both. Ah why must I separate myself out? I want to write about anything I feel like writing about.....

I have a terribly sad confession to make. I cannot visualize. Just ask the walls of any house I've ever lived in. I have to see the picture on the wall...and I also can't hang them straight, so even if it turns out to look ok, I still have to rehang it. Apparently that also applies to this blog. I have changed backgrounds too many times. I think I like it now...but  give me a few days. Oh and btw, I repaired the holes in the walls. Not to worry. If you ever come back here, there's a good chance it'll look different. I would prefer it stay the same, though, but we'll see.