Life in His Hand

I guess the reason I am struggling so much lately, is I just don't know who I am anymore. I found this cute video on YouTube and just wanted to share it and my own thoughts about it. I used to know where I belonged. I used to know what I was supposed to be doing. My life and roles were pretty well-defined. Even in less than perfect circumstances (way less than perfect!) I had some sense of who I was. Like the woman in the video, my life was centered around kids and family. Now I'm feeling rather uprooted. So when I saw this video yesterday, I just thought, well where do I bloom now? I shared it on Facebook and let it go. This morning, I woke up and wrote in my prayer-journal--I pray that You will cause me to bloom where I am planted. Being a single mom with not a lot of money seems to be my lot  in life. How can I bloom right here? Please help me to improve my lot. To have many beautiful flowers bloom and green grass grow right here in my lot. What's your lot?...

The Lord has really been working on my behalf. I am weak, full of anxiety. He is so right here providing what I need, just when I need it the most. A strange thing tends to happen, when you pay attention to God. Well, today was my Bible study at my house. There are usually only four of us that come. Whenever one or two have missed, there is ALWAYS some reason. Some thing needs to be discussed. God needs the floor, basically. Today, two of our four didn't make it and someone, my mom actually, came. The study was moving slow without the regulars and when we came to a question that is of supreme interest to me, I sort of got off track with it. Looked up a couple of related articles and our time together came alive. I now tend to get suspicious when something out of the ordinary happens.  A couple of posts ago I mentioned not wanting to burden people with my troubles. So the ones I wouldn't have wanted to burden were not here and the one I needed to talk to came. She usually doesn...

I usually tell people about my prayer-journal while I'm sharing a story with them. I don't think I've inspired anyone, so far, to start keeping one, but here are the main reasons I keep one. To connect with God in a focused way.  When I write in my journal, I am totally able to focus. I can block out other thoughts and noise. I basically write "letters" to God. To keep a record of His faithfulness in answering prayer. I can look back and see how God has answered prayers and how He's brought things together. I can really see His hand clearly working when I look back in my journal. Not to mention, it is a record of my life and I am able to go and look at things I normally would have forgotten. I process life with my pen, journal and God. Writing is very therapeutic. Knowing a loving God is there listening -  is healing.  If you've never tried the whole prayer-journal thing, I want to encourage you to give it a shot. Yes, I know it's not for every...

I can't decide whether I need this blog, want this blog, should have this blog. The idea behind this one is that I can just come on here and say whatever I feel like saying. So my hang-up is...do I want people reading what I really feel? Of course I am not putting everything on here. Not in the least. You know what? It is hard to be who you are. Well, for me, it seems to be. And yet I am compelled to write stuff down. It's just what I do. They actually say writing is the most real you can get. Because it's your thoughts just flowing onto 'paper'. I've always sort of been this way. When I was a kid I wrote stories, tried to have a diary, but wasn't good at that. My cousins and I wrote letters to each other all the time. Still have a lot of them. Kept trying the diary thing and would write occasionally in there. A lot of times, I wasn't able to tell people my feelings and so writing came in handy. How many ended up in the garbage, who can know? Don't g...