Life in His Hand

Being a follower of Jesus does not mean that your life suddenly turns into a rose garden. It does not mean you have no problems. They are thinking about closing my church down. It does not matter that we are a living, breathing community of believers who meet together in our small town to worship God and strengthen each other. It does not matter that by being here we are keeping a light burning in our community for people of like beliefs which cannot be found in any other church in our small town. It does not matter that we are bonded to one another. No it does not matter. What does apparently matter is the size of our bank account. We don't have much money. It does not matter that we share a pastor with the church in the next community which has means and in all actuality we are not costing the conference anything more. No it doesn't matter. We simply do not generate enough money in tithes. We do not matter... But we matter to God. And we matter to each other and the peopl...

With God, every emotion seems to be felt more deeply. Love is stronger, passion is fiercer, regret stings more bitterly, joy-more exultant, peace is a smooth, calm surface, pain is a dark, hollow place. And for all these and through all these, there is One Friend who is always nearby. Always watching, laughing, crying, looking in sympathy, wiping away tears. There is One who knows every need and realizes every intent of your heart. One who knows the truth of you. One who stands by to pick up the pieces and say, "It's not over yet." And as I go through times of joy and pain in this life, He walks with me. And as I plead for guidance and agonize over a situation, He comes and talks with me. The God of heaven stoops so low to speak to me-the thought of that floors me. How blessed I am. How truly blessed we are.

Being Adventist means being different. Going against the grain. From our day of worship (Saturday) to our diet (typically vegetarian) to our choice of entertainment and several of our beliefs--we are different. Yes, we are the same, in many ways, with other Christian denominations--but it's the differences that tend to cause us to stand out and be noticed. I think unless some types of people were born into the church, they might have a hard time being so unconventional. Seems people want to just blend in a lot of the time. In my church, that's quite impossible to do, unless you see no one besides fellow Adventists. Yes, we stick out like a sore thumb. For me, this was quite natural. I've always been a rebel. I never fit into the mainstream. I was a heavy-metal kid and always felt different. It was okay with me and I was probably proud of that fact--who wanted to be like them anyway? So I found my niche--other misfits like myself. And life went on. Until Jesus go...

On Wednesday, my study group was over. We typically read the Bible,  read a section from a book called, 'Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing' and pray. Sometimes, I share a story. Yesterday, I shared one called, 'Unanswered Letters'. It was about a man who had lost one arm, the use of his legs and on his "good" hand, he only had one finger and his thumb. He was discouraged, because he couldn't really do anything anymore, but wanted to do something to help other people. He started thinking about writing  letters to people who were shut-in like himself. He thought of writing to prisoners. His mind was still brilliant; he had a lot to share. He contacted a Christian ministry and began painstakingly writing letters twice a week. Only thing was-he wouldn't receive any responses since it was against the rules of the prison. He put everything he had, his whole heart into writing. He eventually became discouraged as it was so physically challenging for him. Fi...

As you may know, my sister moved to Florida a few months ago. Her husband has an aunt, here in town, that has cancer. She's not doing very well at all. Her husband is having a really tough time with it as well. They do not go to church or have any spiritual support system. My sister tells me that if she doesn't make it, the husband will be completely lost without her because they're inseparable. Of course, my sister and her family are very concerned for them...and also very far away. The Assignment A few weeks ago, she asked if I and our aunt would make casseroles, my sister providing the finances, for the woman and her family--that they could freeze and use as needed. My sister, feeling like she wanted to do something, but feeling helpless, came up with that idea so this family could hopefully see God's love through us as Christians. This week, my aunt and I are going to plan, shop, cook and deliver the food for these people. We'll share as we have an opening an...

I guess the reason I am struggling so much lately, is I just don't know who I am anymore. I found this cute video on YouTube and just wanted to share it and my own thoughts about it. I used to know where I belonged. I used to know what I was supposed to be doing. My life and roles were pretty well-defined. Even in less than perfect circumstances (way less than perfect!) I had some sense of who I was. Like the woman in the video, my life was centered around kids and family. Now I'm feeling rather uprooted. So when I saw this video yesterday, I just thought, well where do I bloom now? I shared it on Facebook and let it go. This morning, I woke up and wrote in my prayer-journal--I pray that You will cause me to bloom where I am planted. Being a single mom with not a lot of money seems to be my lot  in life. How can I bloom right here? Please help me to improve my lot. To have many beautiful flowers bloom and green grass grow right here in my lot. What's your lot?...

Today, I gathered my three girls together and read two Bible verses to them and prayed for them to be safe while they're away from me this weekend. Then I hugged them good-bye. They're staying with their dad and going to church with him in a nearby city. I think this is the first Sabbath I have spent alone. After they left, I came across a quote by a religious author about the importance of having family worship daily, morning and evening. I was going to share it tonight at our prayer vespers, but found something else. Funny, when I got there, another lady brought a story to read called-Family Prayer. So I dug my quote out and shared it. I had been praying about what God was calling me to do. And this is it! Once again! I don't know why I so struggle with this simple thing, but I DO!! For the New Year, I wanted this to be the only thing I was going to do and it's been terribly neglected. God is nudging me to pick it back up again. I wish this was easier for me, I wis...

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21 I was just watching a Youtube video about the treasures a woman found for a fall party she was planning. She had a huge, fancy, glass drink dispenser, various table risers and serving pieces and stands all adorned with "bling" in perfect fall tones. She also had a set of new napkin rings. She was so excited! I thought it was a bit much, but she LOVED it. Okay, so who doesn't like to shop? Who doesn't like to find that perfect item? That treasure? I know I've been thrilled to go on a mission and actually find just what I was hoping for! (My shopping days have been suspended until further notice) I've always been on the thrifty side. Kinda had to be. And I am okay with that. For me, finding true bargains at discount and second-hand stores is about as exciting as it gets and then there is a feeling of pride for how little was spent, etc. Really, it's that bargain-hunting gene I...

It has been almost eight months since this year began. And what a crazy, WONDERFUL year it has been!!! So many things have changed! My life has changed! As the New Year was approaching, I decided to pray for a word that would describe it somehow; to give me an idea of what God had in store for me. The year before, I prayed for a word and I was impressed with "trust". And wow! Did a lot of amazing things happen that showed just Who was truly in charge and just how BIG He was! One of the major things that happened, last year, was for us to move into our current house which has enabled me to do what God had planned for me to do this year. Everything builds. I'll tell you the story of my little, blue house some other time. So I began praying and right away, the word "step" came into my mind. And it persisted. I said, "Oh no, Lord! I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does." Step out of the boat, Peter! Time to get out of your comfort-zone. The y...

How big is your God? How small is your box you keep Him in? One thing that bothers me is when people limit God. They try to make Him fit their ideas instead of realizing that He can act in unusual ways. The Bible is full of examples of freak and weird things God has done. Like Jonah being swallowed by a fish, or lot's wife being turned into a pillar of salt. How about Balaam's talking donkey? God does not always fit into a neat little package tied with a bow. I haven't shared, with many, some of the highly unconventional ways God has worked in my life. Some of the promises He's made to me would cause others to raise an eyebrow. God sees the whole big picture and acts accordingly--whether or not it fits into someone's preconceived ideas and rules of what God "can" do or say. Four years ago, I went to Campmeeting, seeking God with all my heart. I was struggling so much under the burden of my miserable marriage. I spent much time in pray...

Tonight I am sitting here feeling a deep contentment and peace which has been a rarity for me. This whole week LIFE IS MINISTRY has been running through my head. Here is one of my favorite quotes from a book called Desire of Ages, pg. 20 and 21: In the beginning, God was revealed in all the works of creation. It was Christ that spread the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth. It was His hand that hung the worlds in space, and fashioned the flowers of the field. “His strength setteth fast the mountains.” “The sea is His, and He made it.” Psalm 65:6 ; 95:5 . It was He that filled the earth with beauty, and the air with song. And upon all things in earth, and air, and sky, He wrote the message of the Father’s love. Now sin has marred God’s perfect work, yet that handwriting remains. Even now all created things declare the glory of His excellence. There is nothing, save the selfish heart of man, that lives unto itself. No bird that cleaves the air, no animal that...

I often look at normal people with their normal lives doing normal things that normal people do. And I wonder--do they realize what they have? They go along calmly living. They cook special things, talk about their kids, love their families, go about their lives working, playing, resting. They seem so quiet, settled and happy. Perfectly content. Perfectly placid. I compare myself with them and am amazed by the shocking, overwhelming contrast. My whole life has been anything but normal, anything but placid. My life is one of extremes. Extreme sorrows; extreme joys. Always lots of noise...sometimes good, sometimes not so good. Today, a kind, retired pastor was our visiting speaker at church. He is the epitome of a good Adventist. Soft-spoken, kind, spiritual, went to all the right schools, married a wonderful, sweet Adventist wife. He is living the Adventist American dream. And I wondered as he spoke of his 51 years of a happy marriage and shared stories of his calling int...

Today, I am in awe of God. I have had a lot of anxiety lately and even doubts have tried to creep in about my whole relationship with Him. About how He speaks to me, about what He says and does in my life. But today, He has shown me He means what He says and that His promises are true. That our relationship is as real as if He were standing right in front of me. Recently, I had felt a little mocked about how God and I relate to each other, causing me to feel a little awkward about it and maybe even almost causing me to second guess what is so real in my everyday life. But God has reassured me, again, that this is real and true. I have often asked myself why I feel so close to Him. And all I can say is He has been here to keep me from becoming totally discouraged in the circumstances I have been in. I think He's had to become closer over the past few years as things in my life have just gotten worse and harder to handle emotionally. So I know that b...

While searching for direction; for guidance, I often claim the promise in James 1:5, which says--   If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. I actually believe God provides guidance when we are willing to align our lives with His will. In the past, I have made terrible choices, without praying; without seeking the Lord's wisdom. Mostly because I wasn't a Christian and didn't realize my need or opportunity. A lot of suffering has resulted from the thoughtless decisions I've made. And even in spite of them, a lot of blessings have also come my way. But the pain from those decisions has certainly caused me to become pretty gun shy. Not able to trust my own ability when it comes to making major life decisions. So I ask God for help a lot. He sees the bigger picture and has my best interests at heart. I honestly do want to follow His plan for my life. Since praying for God'...

I have had a pretty bad week. Very emotional for me. Problems with the kids and all the rest. Hormones have crept in so everything is just beneath the surface and so easily escapes. I am feeling pretty weepy. Even at church, I struggled to keep my composure when a friend asked what was going on. Luckily I felt pretty safe and so it was really nice to talk about it to someone that showed compassion. Not that I don't have others that care. But every way that someone cares matters so much to me right now. I truly appreciate the ways people are showing God's love to me. I can actually say that I have been depressed this week. I pray it passes quickly. Some good friends from out of town, Jim and Margie, were ministering in one of our churches nearby. They had wanted to attend my daughter and neice's baptisms last week, but were unable to because they had a previous engagement. So since they were in the area, they wanted to meet at a mutual friend's place to give th...

In a fairly recent post, And My Heart Melts... , I wrote of my involvement with a Christian prison letter-writing ministry. Click here- Someone Cares - to find out how you can write and encourage people. The program is safe as you and they use the ministry's address and you can use a pen-name. I certainly know that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is an easy way to make a difference in someone's life, so I think it's worth my sharing the info just in case you may have an interest. I sent out 5 "fishing" letters to see if any of my abandoned prisoners still wanted to write. Jack, from deathrow, which I had tried to get rematched well over a year ago (they never rematched him, but sent his info back to me, with a note that they needed me), Bobby, and Bucky all wrote back saying that yes, they wanted to write again, Bobby wondering why I stopped writing. One letter came back, undelivered. And the one I had hoped for, Josiah, didn't come. I didn...

A couple of years ago, my son was having to go through his lung surgery and I was so stressed and so scared. I felt like I couldn't do much but just be in the moment and it felt like I was sort of being carried along. I felt helpless and so dependent on God. He saw me through it. He carried me every step of the way. I look back and marvel at all the miracles He did for us then. He opened the right doors and provided what we needed. During that time, I got a glimpse of a very powerful and involved God. He cared so much for us. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. With my husband leaving, I feel so overwhelmed, kind of like when my son was going through his surgery. So as I sit here feeling the stress, the tension, I am hoping for His will and plan to be worked out in my life, though it's rough. But I am just standing here. I give up. I give up the fear, the what ifs, the worries. And what I am saying now is...if I sink, I sink. It would be better than contin...

Well, I am having some technical difficulties and wow am I feeling it! I miss reading your blogs and sharing with you all. I hope to have things worked out soon. I will be going through some transitions in my life and if you're a praying person, please remember me in your prayers. Meanwhile, the Youth Night was a hit!!! We watched a Louie Giglio talk, How Great is our God. Then we played a really fun game afterward and hung out. The kids had a blast and so did we...the adults. It was a great night. Hoping to share more as we go on. Some other good news!! My youngest daughter, Amanda, my niece Heather and our friend Martin are getting baptized this coming Sabbath. I am excited! We've been waiting for awhile, since we were in between pastors for several months. Hope to be back soon. Thanks for reading :)

Living our giftedness is all God wants us to do, in my opinion. It's so easy to get caught up in all the things that we could do or that people ask you to do for the church and God. Knowing who you are, recognizing your gifts and having them confirmed, praying about exactly what God wants you to do and using your time and abilities to do those things, is how it should work. The exciting thing is is that what God calls you to do, goes hand in hand with where your passion lies. Sometimes I agree to do something because I am asked and honestly, a little flattered. Sometimes I do things because I am asked and there isn't anyone else to do them. Then I struggle with - well does God want me to do this or just someone else? I think I'm learning s-l-o-w-l-y. So sometimes I quit something because I go whoa...this isn't for me. Or I've taken on too much and then have to go back and look at my priorities...again. What is awesome, though, is when God shows you what you shou...

Lord of All Pots and Pans! Lord of all pots and pans and things, Since I’ve no time to be A saint by doing holy things, Or contemplating thee, By praying in the dawn-light, Or storming heaven’s gates, Make me a saint by getting meals, And washing up the plates. Although I must have Martha's hands, I have Mary's mind, and, When I black the boots and shoes  Thy sandals, Lord, I find.  I think of how they trod the earth  What time I scrub the floor,  Accept this meditation, Lord,  I haven't time for more. Warm all the kitchen with thy love,  And light it with thy peace,  Forgive me all my worrying  And make all grumbling cease.  Thou who didst love to give men food  In room or by the sea  Accept this service that I do  I do it unto thee The first couple of lines of this poem are found in the beginning of the book,"The Practice of the Presence of God," by Brother Lawrence. Brother Lawrence was a seventeenth-century Fren...