Life in His Hand

About a month ago, I mentioned that my best friend found me on Facebook. Since I got on Facebook a few years ago, I have been looking for her. And even before that-online. She shares one with her boyfriend (that I didn't know), so when I got the request in his name and checked it out, I was surprised to see her picture..and thrilled! I have been praying for a long time for this. So let's go back in time... I was nine years old and she was about six months older. My dad lived in the same apartments where she and her mom and brother lived. My mom ended up moving there, too, for awhile, with us. Not sure of all the timing of these things. We became fast friends. I remember her dancing to Mr. Roboto out in the parking lot. Doing some weird dance that I thought was kinda strange. We also danced to Thriller from Michael Jackson..oh boy! them 80's! We played 4 and 5 hour games of Monopoly, sitting out on the sidewalk in front of the apartments, in which my older brother wo...

And so... yesterday, the relationship I was in, ended. Things just were not going to work out. Too many differences. Unfortunately, you get attached and that can make it hard. The previous day, I had picked up a little book that you can send through the mail. It sort of had all the little themes that reminded me of us. It was a child's book-written from mother to child, but I thought it so perfectly fit, that I was going to give it as a Valentine's gift. It's called, "If Kisses Were Colors." It has lines in it which say things like-if kisses were colors, you'd see every one of the bands of the rainbow that shines in the sun...and...if kisses were blankets, you'd always be warm, wrapped up from the cold during winter's worst storm...If kisses were snowflakes, your world would be light, sparkling with crystals of silver and white... And so... I picked up the sweet, little book and wondered, what will I do with it now? Take it back? Send it to the g...

God does amazing things! Brings situations full circle. Last November, I wrote a story on here about my son. It was the 20-year anniversary of a painful time in my life and I just felt compelled to write about it. I was 18 and pregnant. Here it is... THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2011 Cold November Rain It was the first day of November twenty years ago. A dreary day with clouds and drizzle which eventually gave way to rain. Cold November Rain. "Please just drive," I said to my friend, Dave, as I wiped away the tears that just kept coming. What have I done? Why did I let this happen? Didn't I ever learn? I felt so guilty. And sad. Not for me so much as for the little life just confirmed by a pregnancy test at the health department. A little life I'd suspected. A little life I loved with all my heart. Another little life I would raise...alone. As soon as I got in the truck, I turned on the radio. "November Rain" came on. I looked out the window...

Recently, I reconnected with a man I haven't seen in years through Facebook, of course! I saw these bright blue eyes staring out at me from his profile picture, a face that looked so familiar, but I couldn't place this person. I noticed my aunt was a mutual friend, and so I accepted his request after examining his wall. Then I quickly hopped onto chat to ask my aunt how I knew this guy. She guessed from school or a concert--but I knew that wasn't the case. After accepting his request, and bombarding my aunt with questions, he came on and started chatting with me. I was a bit embarrassed that I couldn't remember just how I knew him, but he so graciously filled me in on the details and it all flooded back. We were not Christians when we'd stop and chat on the main street sidewalk, in front of the comic book shop where he worked. We didn't know each other well, but I remember him being a pleasant person. We were living our own lives the best we knew how, longing ...

Did I really sound so excited and enthused in my last post? Surely NOT feeling that way now! My trust in God is sorely being tested right now. My whole plan is crumbling....so I am praying for the Lord to show me what to do now. To show me His plan for me. Things really began falling apart on Thursday. On Friday, I decided to try to give it to God. At church, I asked for a prayer request during the service. I told them I needed guidance, wisdom and strength because I was stressed-out and had a lot of stuff going on in my life and was facing hard decisions. After prayer, it was time for special music. And God just showed up in an amazing way! He played "our song" to me, through a young guy that goes to my church. When I heard the name of the song announced, I just knew God was saying, "Don't worry, Johanna. I am here with you and everything is going to be alright. I love you". You see for the past three years, I was really struggling in the relationship. We...

Several weeks ago, we had six baby chicks hatch. There are two mama hens, so I'm not sure which babies went with which mama. But that didn't seem to bug them, they just cared for all of them together in the chicken coop. Aww...so precious. There's just nothing as sweet as seeing a hen gently caring for her chicks. Don't you think? And that reminded me of a song I used to do for the babies in our Cradle Roll class at church. We'd have a nice, stuffed hen up in front of the room and each child would have a cute, little chick to bring up to the mama hen and put it snuggly under her wings at the appropriate time. I have never had chickens before, except those stuffed ones in Sabbath school. So that was the sweet picture I'd think of when I'd read these verses in the Bible-- "....How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings....” Matthew 23:37 And... He will cover you with his feathers...

One of the people who has inspired me the most is Corrie ten Boom. I've read many of her books, including her most well- known - "The Hiding Place." It's the story of how Corrie and her family risked their lives to hide Jews during the Holocaust. I've also seen the movie and watched / listened to several of her sermons. If you are unfamiliar with her story, I am including a link to a very short version of it here called -  "The Secret Room" . There are a few reasons I have been so inspired by not only this woman, but also by her family. Corrie's parents were amazing. Casper ten Boom, Corrie's father, was a quiet Christian clockmaker in Holland. Corrie also became a clockmaker. Casper had a strong faith and gathered his family around him, daily, as he read the Bible to them, truly instilling God's word in their hearts. Corrie's mother was a wonderful woman that shared her love with her "soup pot and sewing basket"-(The Hidin...

                                   I collect old kitchen utensils and spice cans and I finally have decided that they've sat in the trunk too long. I pulled them out and put them on a shelf. My aunt came by and said, "You want to have your grandmother's kitchen." And I said,"Yes!" And started thinking...  About my grandmas and how I don't remember what they had in their kitchens so much, but I have a few very cherished memories of them that have been packed away far too long. So I thought I'd bring them out and share them with you.                                            We'll start with Clara, my great-grandmother. She lived in a tiny, little house with my great-grandfather in an alley called Willow Way. They had a white-picket fence and the yard was full of cactuses. Their c...

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay Your hand upon me.  Psalm 39:5 It's pretty amazing when you see God. When it's so obvious He's working things out for you. He's not shy about announcing it when He sees fit... it's like He takes a big can of spray paint and writes..."God was here" all over your life. It's unmistakable.                                           *       *      *     "No! I don't want to learn to scuba dive!," my 8th grade son adamantly protested. "Why not? The teacher really wants you to do it. What happened? Was it because the instructor was rude to you?," I asked, hoping he'd change his mind for the teacher's sake. "No I just don't want to..." "Fine," I said, thinking I wasn't going to try to force him. Besides, I thought it had something to do with the instructor getting on to him, the day befo...

It was the first day of November twenty years ago. A dreary day with clouds and drizzle which eventually gave way to rain. Cold November Rain. "Please just drive," I said to my friend, Dave, as I wiped away the tears that just kept coming. I felt sad. Not for me so much as for the little life just confirmed by a pregnancy test at the health department. A little life I'd suspected. A little life I loved with all my heart. I knew it would be hard for him to not have a father in his life. As soon as I got in the truck, I turned on the radio. "November Rain" came on. I looked out the window and cried. Dave drove.                                                                                                           ...

I'd like to share a little bit about me and God. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but I was taken to church from time to time. Being extremely shy, I was always uncomfortable going to the class they offered for my age and I would just rather stay in Cradle Roll with the babies. Years later when I would finally make a commitment to God, that's where I ended up - back in Cradle Roll, with the babies. God knows exactly where we need to be and why. My memories of church, as a child, include kneeling for prayer on dark, chocolate brown carpet, hearing the church folk softly and reverently sing "Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow" (The Doxology) after the prayer, sitting on velvety soft green pews drawing many happy pictures with suns, trees, grass and flowers on tithe envelopes, looking at "Our Little Friend" papers, gazing in awe at the beautiful, arched, wooden ceiling, and the second best thing next to "Praise God From Whom All Blessing...

Today my brother told me that he saw someone we used to know. Shawn. I was 13 when I moved to Shawn's neighborhood. He was different than I was. He and the kids in his group dressed in cool clothes- 501, pegged Levi's, high tops, and black rock shirts(sometimes shredded) the guys had long hair and some wore eye liner. And lots of silver necklaces, crosses, rings. They also wore Levi jackets with band patches on the back. They didn't care what anybody thought. I was sort of like that too. I remember the first time I went to Shawn's house in the alley around the corner from where I lived. I followed him into his room which he shared with his brother and that was where I was first introduced to heavy metal. He had old Ozzy, Black Sabbath, and Metallica records. I remember their eerie covers and thought, in a way, that they were cool. I typically listened to pop music- Prince, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna- whatever was popular on the radio. I was so ready to embrace this new, d...