Life in His Hand

My friend and I would go through many changes over the next several years. We didn't live in the same town, but we managed to see each other. Once she ran away to my house because her mom was "too strict" aka normal! And that was where I left off in the story. We were fourteen, lots of parties going on and hanging out. That was when I ended up pregnant. Yes, at fourteen. I was a baby, but didn't think so. I was tough and cool and people always commented on how mature I was and how much older I looked (now it's just the opposite!!! And I couldn't be happier!!) That's so funny because I look back now and just shake my head because I absolutely knew NOTHING about life! But no one could have told me that. And no one ever tried. No one ever gave me any kind of guidance and I realize now that if you don't have it, you can't give it. I know that was the case with me. The adults in my life were doing their own thing. They just didn't have the advice to...

Stumbled upon a young guy's blog today and found inspiration. He listed the day as Monday. Said he didn't even think he'd been outside for two days... Then said something about not having much to write about. I commented that I liked his blog. It was short, simple and to the point. His real voice. I didn't say that. Then I went back a little further to realize this guy was a singer-making music all night, so that explained why he hadn't been outside for two days. Oops. I also realized that he had a Tumblr he uses more and likes to post pics. I commented again, letting him know I hadn't gone back far enough to see he did have stuff to say. Nevertheless, I liked his blog when he didn't have much to say. So what inspired me? His real voice. Who he was came through. Just earlier today, I was thinking about how I just really don't have a lot of stuff to write about. How people probably wouldn't want to hear about my daily happenings. They...

Sometimes I go out on a dark and windy night. I see the moon's light and the shadow of the leaves and hear their rustling. I look at the stars and wonder. I feel so out of place. I am filled with longings that just hover over my soul. Not even able to name them. It's just a deep and mysterious ache for the ones I miss. The ones I long to see. The ones that are lost to me. It's a feeling that comes over me, sadness and yearning for what is missing, mixed with hope and wondering. I think of yesterday and I want to hold onto it. I keep pieces and treasure them and fit them together with hopes of what may someday be. There were people in my life that were so special and I don't know where they are. This song is the first song I have ever heard that matches the deep longings I have to someday find them. I heard it for the first time tonight and it goes out to those I've loved and can't be with. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you're missing someone - a close frie...

Easter Plans Busy morning planned. Lots of eggs to boil and color and plastic ones to fill with candy and money. And of course, we will have to clean the house!!! And make food. On Saturday nights I like to stay up late...so I'll suffer for it in the morning! What started out as a small family thing, with just us and the grandbabies, grew into a bigger thing, with a few more people. And because of that, I have to make sure the house is actually clean. I am not complaining, company always makes it feel like a party. We're planning an Easter egg hunt and a vegetarian, for the most part, barbeque. My flowers are blooming nicely and are so colorful and pretty - perfect for Easter! My porch got cleaned off and the grass is long enough. Oh and the weather will be cooperating. Yay!                                                           ...

                                   I collect old kitchen utensils and spice cans and I finally have decided that they've sat in the trunk too long. I pulled them out and put them on a shelf. My aunt came by and said, "You want to have your grandmother's kitchen." And I said,"Yes!" And started thinking...  About my grandmas and how I don't remember what they had in their kitchens so much, but I have a few very cherished memories of them that have been packed away far too long. So I thought I'd bring them out and share them with you.                                            We'll start with Clara, my great-grandmother. She lived in a tiny, little house with my great-grandfather in an alley called Willow Way. They had a white-picket fence and the yard was full of cactuses. Their c...

I've got a thing for old Fisher-Price toys...                                                                                                    Monchichis,     and sock monkeys...    I guess these all just remind me of my childhood.   I loved Little People when I was a kid. Some of my best memories are of playing "Little People" with my cousins. I'm pretty sure that one of my cousins had each of the toys in the Fisher Price pictures. One of my favorite toys was a Monchichi... a nurse. I loved it 'til it was raggedy!  My Great-Grandmother made sock monkeys. I even made one when my older kids were small. What was I thinking?? I don't sew and I'm not crafty... I guess I made it before I...

I love old houses. I feel really sad to see them like this. To me this house is still beautiful, still majestic. I imagine all the rooms. All the detailed woodwork and moulding inside, the stairway, the high ceilings and old fixtures that are still intact. Like doorknobs, locks and hinges. Probably some of the original glass is still in the windows. At one point someone must have really loved this house.  This is a storybook house. It reminds me of the "The Secret Garden." It's tucked away and hidden. I can imagine myself wandering through the woods and stumbling upon it. Then bringing paint and other things to fix it up. I read a book once when I was a kid about a girl who found a house and did that, but I can't remember the name. When I see a house like this, it makes me think of the little farm family that once lived here. If I try hard enough I can still see kids running through the yard laughing and mama hanging clothes on the line. Simpler times, simpl...