Life in His Hand

Every New Year, I pray for a word that sort of describes and sets the tone for the upcoming year. Last year's word was- "step."   God impresses them on my mind. You can click on "step" in my labels to read about what all happened with that word this year. Last year was very hard, as I was approaching the New Year. I was under tremendous pressure at home. I knew my husband and I needed to get a divorce. I just didn't know how the kids and I would make it. So there was a lot of fear surrounding that. During that year (2011), God had provided things for us (teaching me to trust Him) when there simply was no money, including moving us to this smaller, cheaper house-where the kids and I could have a chance to afford to live on our own, when the time came. I knew the time would come, when I found out we were moving here, because He had announced it to me a month ahead of time. Soon, I need to share the story of the sparrow and the little blue house. Another st...

For those of you that don't know, this year has been a doozy for me. I went through a divorce and all the transitions and changes have been very difficult. I am really learning to trust God. EVERYTHING is different. There is not one aspect of my life that hasn't changed or hasn't been affected in some way, even things that are foundational to me, like church, haven't been left untouched by this. But there has been a lot of growth on my part. This has been good for me, although it didn't/doesn't always feel so wonderful. Divorce is hard. I knew I needed out of the marriage. The emotional trauma that this divorce caused was just tremendous.  And so the pain and all the emotional stuff I went through, actually surprised me a little. I didn't think it would be so bad. Slowly, things have gotten better. I am learning to stand on my own two feet-still feeling a bit wobbly. On the flip-side, the benefits of this life-changing event are wonderful. I am no lo...

Being Adventist means being different. Going against the grain. From our day of worship (Saturday) to our diet (typically vegetarian) to our choice of entertainment and several of our beliefs--we are different. Yes, we are the same, in many ways, with other Christian denominations--but it's the differences that tend to cause us to stand out and be noticed. I think unless some types of people were born into the church, they might have a hard time being so unconventional. Seems people want to just blend in a lot of the time. In my church, that's quite impossible to do, unless you see no one besides fellow Adventists. Yes, we stick out like a sore thumb. For me, this was quite natural. I've always been a rebel. I never fit into the mainstream. I was a heavy-metal kid and always felt different. It was okay with me and I was probably proud of that fact--who wanted to be like them anyway? So I found my niche--other misfits like myself. And life went on. Until Jesus go...

Merry Christmas!! Today I am celebrating Jesus and what He means to me. If He wouldn't have come as a tiny, helpless Babe so many, many years ago and showed the world who God was; if He wouldn't have lived a life as an example for me; if He wouldn't have given it all to pay my way...where would I be today? Nothing in this life compares to having a relationship with Jesus. It's not a one-way, cross-your-fingers, close-your-eyes and hope-He-is-real kind of relationship. God is very real and communicates with us as well. There was a time in my life-most of my life, where I didn't know God. Opening my heart to Him and seeking after Him has been the most thrilling, life-changing experience.  So today, I am not only thankful that Jesus came to this dark world as a Baby on a mission, but that He comes into my heart, daily, and abides with me here.

Blessings come in small packages this year. I am just really grateful for the little things. Just hearing my kids laughing and carrying on, smelling cookies baking in the oven, looking at our cluttered tree--decorated with lots of sentimental ornaments the kids have made over the years. Our tree is fake and only about 4 feet tall. It's on a decorator table in the corner. Usually, we would have a big tree but our house is just too small for one now. The amount of ornaments on our tree is more than enough for a tree twice it's size..yep, cluttered. Cluttered with sweet memories from the past. Spent last Sunday with my dad. It was our annual Christmas get-together and we always have pizza and root-beer floats. All my kids and grandkids were there. It was nice visiting with my dad. I don't see him often enough. The kids always have a great time. He cracked me up this year. He brought us all into his extra room and on two long tables he had lots of Christmas stuff laying o...

I have a simple, little house, but it contains everything and everyone I love the most. I walk in the door and see pictures hanging on the wall that speak to me. I feel the warmth and smell apple cinnamon candles, see my books at home on their shelves and I am wrapped in colors that I love. I see my kids' clutter strewn all over the floor...backpacks, shoes, you name it and it isn't long before I'm handing out the chores. Home sweet home. I can especially appreciate it now. I know how fleeting it is. One day these guys, too, will grow up and leave me like my older two did. And boy it sure didn't take too long for that to happen. So I need to cherish every day, every moment we have together. I am thankful to have the kids brighten my daily life. What a privilege. Some places remind me of just how fortunate I really am. People who are elderly, alone, they're homes aren't kept up the way they used to be. Their kids and families are gone and one by one they...

Had a magical time with my kids in Sabbath School this morning. Our lesson was on the angels singing to the shepherds. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.   An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.   But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.   Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.   This will be a sign   to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven  and on earth peace   to those on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:8-14

It's a crisp, cold morning and we are getting ready to head out to church. I'm pretty bundled up with a sweater, jacket, scarf and boots. Yep, feels like winter. There is so much to be thankful for-especially when I compare my life to how it was last year at this time. At least there is peace in my heart and in my home. I am looking forward to a future that is unknown. For so many years it seemed things would stay the same forever-because they had for soo long. I'm not exactly happy about an unknown future, but I am learning that this is when I must trust it to God and count on Him to help me. He hasn't let me down yet. It's still scary. Some lessons you can only learn by walking through them. One step at a time.

The one great thing that really excites me about being a Christian is the fact that God is in my life. He's real. He's present. I see Him, sense Him, hear Him, feel Him. It's not pretend. He is not an imaginary friend that my mind conjures up on it's own. What so excites me about God is that He shows up. He is thoughtful. One day at church, a few weeks ago, during prayer, our speaker prayed, " Lord, put your arm around those who are hurting today." As I was kneeling there, I felt someone touch my back. Twice. I looked to see who it was. It wasn't the person beside me or the person behind me (I even asked). I was so overwhelmed by that. God put His arm around me that day. Did I deserve it? No. I'm struggling a lot lately. All I could think was--He really wants me to know He loves me. And that He understands my struggles and problems and no matter what I do--He still loves me. When He promises to carry you--He does. When He promises to save you--He do...