Life in His Hand

For a long time I have had a fascination with the Amish. They are a simple and deeply religious people that have captured my affections. Though I no longer view them through the rose-colored lenses I once did, I still love their simple ways. Besides the differences in our beliefs - I am going to enlighten you as to why I wouldn't "get in". I cannot unplug! I love the internet...and well almost all technology around. Microwaves...phones...dvd players, etc. What on earth would I do without them?! And I like to drive...a car. Oh yes - I also appreciate hospitals...a lot! I wouldn't be submissive enough...to my husband or to the church. While I respect the Bible's take on submission (I do)...so many get it wrong, thinking women must be subservient. While some may be exclusively called to minister to their families, God often gifts and uses women for more than that. One's sex doesn't determine their ministry - their gifts do. I'm not saying that the f...

A nerve-racking week ahead. Yes, God is stretching me and it is uncomfortable . I'm starting something new at church (with a couple of others). And it's out of my comfort zone. I am in the process and have been for several years, of overcoming the fear of speaking. Okay, I don't feel so bad knowing it's the number one fear out there, so lots of people can relate. And some totally can't (they are lucky!) Fear is a prison. It's not "like" a prison, it IS one. I am so tired of fear ruling my life. Of being paralyzed by it. God and I have been working on this for awhile. I say, "Okay, God, but please (please, please, PLEASE!!!!) let me take baby-steps." And He has brought me along little by little. Slowly. But there are still things I haven't done and I am still in the process of taking those steps. My word for the New Year was "step" . God just brought it to mind when I was praying for a word to describe the upcoming year. A...

Had an amazing night! The final night of our youth series. Two skater guys, one with long hair, came with my nephew. This young guy reminded me so much of the guys I used to hang out with. I was into heavy-metal. I gave all the kids a Bible promise book with a bookmark that had Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I also got to tell a very quick testimony about my and my sister's youth. How we were pretty wild. And how nothing in the world compares to having a relationship with God. The one kid was listening. I looked right into his eyes and said God has a plan for your life, He has a plan for each one of us. He was touched I could tell. I was pretty emotional about it myself. It was a great night and I am on a spiritual high. I have ALWAYS   wanted to tell kids like that about God. Kids that are the way I was. Tonight I finally got the opportunity. So I pray ...

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,  Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.  When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,  And I realize just how beautiful You are,  And how great Your affections are for me.  And oh, how He loves us oh  Oh how He loves us,  How He loves us oh  He loves us,  Oh how He loves us,  Oh how He loves us,  Oh how He loves.  We are His portion and He is our prize  Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes  If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking  So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss  And my heart turns violently inside of my chest  I don't have time to maintain these regrets  When I think about the way  And oh, how He loves us  Oh how He loves us,  How He loves us oh  Yeah, He loves us,  Oh how He loves us,  Oh how He loves us,  Oh how He loves.

My daughter and I stumbled upon an estate sale on our way to go shopping in a nearby town this morning. There wasn't a whole lot there to look at. I did find an old apron I thought was cute. It sort of hit me weird while I was there. I started thinking about all the things laying out on the tables, and piled on blankets on the ground. This was someone's life on display and for sale. Her furniture. Her clothes. Her dishes. Her trinkets. Even her Shirley Temple videos, which I bought a couple of  those because I am a fan. I thought of the lady and how she was probably pretty young when she first watched Shirley Temple movies. These videos must have held some significance for her, taking her back to another time in her life. Most yard sales are just that - sales. People have them to get rid of stuff they don't want or need anymore and sometimes they are held because the people may need money more than they need their things. But this was different. These were the belongings...

Years ago, I listened to music that could take me to other worlds. In my mind, I'd envision all the lyrics were to me. I'd imagine that there would be such a connection between myself and another person, that we'd connect psychically - read each other's minds. That's how close I wanted to be with another person. A very young, idealistic, hopeless romantic. So this was a pretty tall order and left me open for a lot of disappointment, the first one called - reality. No one could live up to my hopes and expectations. Until I met Him.  He was mysterious. I knew of Him, had heard of Him, but what I envisioned Him to be like was so different than what He turned out to be. He would send people to me with invitations to His house, but I didn't want to associate with the people that went there. I wasn't like them. I didn't fit in. I didn't know they were sent at His request. I tried to forget about Him because I was afraid. I knew He was pretty power...

The more I try to declutter, organize and get rid of the junk - the more it seems to come from outta nowhere! So this spring I am going to be working REALLY hard to unload it. I have a lot of stuff that's just sitting around waiting on the porch to go to the second-hand store. Then there's the little stacks and piles here and there around the house. I think if I could haul it away, right when it's ready, instead of letting it sit and accumulate, it wouldn't feel so overwhelming. We will also need to take a couple of loads to the dump. Seems we do this yearly. My question is: where does it all come from?? Once I can get the junk out, then maybe I can actually get more organized and find a place for everything. Since I live in a small house, I will either have to get really creative (not so likely) or toss more stuff (not so likely, either!) Well I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it! This also makes me think of spiritual decluttering. What are the th...

This morning started out so good. I was feeling very content for a change, just breathing and thinking...life is good. Then the school called. And blew my good and peace-filled morning. My daughter isn't adjusting well to high school. I don't want to go into detail, to protect her privacy, but it seems it may be time for a change. And me and change don't really get along so well. So I've had a worried, heavy, mother's heart all day. Please pray that God would make it evident what should be done. I know He already has it all figured out, but I am just a worry-wart. A couple nights ago my daughter and I watched "The Sound of Music." The part that really stands out to me about that movie is the saying - when God closes a door, He always opens a window. I love that saying and I believe it. This morning as I was looking for a quote for Facebook, I came across one by Hellen Keller - When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at...

Who could be sad staring into the face of one of these? Happy flowers :)  Just another reminder of the many things there are to be thankful for. Spring is full of new beginnings and hope.

Yesterday, I overheard my youngest daughter (nine-years-old) having a conversation on the phone with a friend from school. It was quiet in our house - for once - and so I could hear her friend on the other end, as well. Friend - "Hey are you going to give Maria a Valentine card?" Mandie - "Uh...yeah, I'm giving one to the whole class. Besides that would be kind of mean." Friend - "Oh, well I wanted to know if you guys weren't gonna give her one because then I wouldn't." I was proud to hear Mandie doing the right thing so easily. The thought that first came to mind when I heard her say that was - I wonder what would happen if we all handled things like that? To put other people's feelings first. I think I am going to try this.                                                                       ...

Had a wonderful meeting with the kids tonight. Our topic was on knowing God's will for your life. The speaker shared his personal testimony. A pretty crazy one. He came from a wealthy family but ended up on drugs and committing a lot of crimes, living in a cave in the mountains, where he read the Bible that had been left in there. If you're interested in reading it, it's called, "The Richest Caveman", by Doug Batchelor. It's a great story. One of my favorite things to talk about is the plan God has for us. One of my favorite activities is watching Him. Seeing all the small miracles. I wasn't always a Christian and I remember the pointlessness of life before God. I was not from a Christian home, though my mom tried to take us kids to church sometimes. But she struggled a lot with alcohol and so there wasn't a steady foundation. When I was a young teen, I got into heavy-metal and partying. Hung around with the wrong crowd. Life was chaotic for me and...

Usually at the new year, I make several resolutions - there are so many areas I need to improve in. In the past, I had the enthusiasm to really try, but this year I didn't want to make the usual list...lose weight, spend more time with God, be a better mom, etc. This year I only wanted to take on one thing and that was to have a very simple family worship with the kids everyday. Dad was welcome, but not pressured. It would consist of reading a daily devotional and having prayer together. I've struggled with being consistent in this area for years and we had completely gotten away from doing it. God never let my mind rest though, and I was always thinking about it. So I decided that that would be our family resolution. It's been a little over a month now and I am seeing good results. The kids' minds are more drawn to God and they are thinking about their relationship with Him. I also teach their class at our small church and God has given me the wonderful opportunity o...

I was experimenting with having two blogs for a few months now. I had a hard time determining what should go where. So if you're familiar with Unfolding Hope - I imported all the posts to this blog and am going to do it all here. Write what I feel and other things as they come up. I was feeling too bi-polar with two blogs. All my positive was on Life in His Hand and my more negative/me trying to deal with my issues stuff was going on the other one, so when I figured out how to join them together - so easy - I decided to do that. I have also decided to write like I was on the other blog here. For me, there will be no rules. If I want/need to whine/vent or whatever this will be the place. So in a few posts I talk about two blogs, instead of going back and fixing them all, I am just going to leave them the way they are. It's actually kind of cool to see my posts from the other blog on here. I'm feeling pretty good about this new arrangement which lends itself to more variety...

Growing a new baby blog can be confusing. I decided to take on another blog because I wanted one that I could use like I would a journal and yet because there are people possibly reading it, it does change the way it will be written. I am struggling to just pour out my life here and encourage people at the same time. Does it encourage others when they read about your struggles and challenges? I know I have felt encouraged by reading someone's story. The blending of the two is what gets me...do you ever think that maybe I think too much? I do! I was recently inspired by a fellow blogger. She is trying to blog everyday! Wow!! I don't know if I would even attempt to attempt that! Maybe I should. I'm really tempted to try that. At least three times a week. So I am going to learn as I go and maybe it'll all turn out alright!

Maybe you've all heard that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. One way I love to trick (bribe) myself into doing something unpleasant is to reward myself after. That usually gets me motivated. If I have to clean something I am not particularly fond of (hate), like say, the fridge, I would reward myself by going to a second-hand store or something. Sweeten the deal. Sometimes I may not feel like going to church, but I usually go anyway. There's a good reason why I try hard not to miss, which I will share with you in just a minute. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that there are plenty of reasons for not being there. I know things can and do happen, unfortunately, that keep us from going. You or a loved one may be sick. Maybe it seems boring or irrelevant. Or maybe you've had a bad experience or sort of gotten out of the habit. It could be fear, discouragement with the church or life which causes you to want to stay away. So why do we go to churc...

Something really weird is happening in my life. I can't quite figure it out. There is one area of my life that I feel like I am growing in, that things are going pretty well for me and another part that is chaos. I'm pretty involved in my church. I work with the kids/youth and teach a class for them. I am doing some meetings for them on the weekend nights and doing bible studies with a few of them, as well as my aunt, and I also have a ladies small group Bible study at my house. Suddenly I am up to my eyeballs in Bible study of one kind or another. A couple of them are about to be finished, though. And I wonder why God would give me these things to do for Him when my life is a complete mess. Why is He blessing the things I am doing and giving me new challenges? Why do I even feel up to it? Life isn't perfect and I guess we all have our struggles. I'm thinking maybe this is God's way of balancing things out. It's only by His grace and strength that I am able ...

Yesterday haunting, transporting So known A part of me Forever gone Memories trapped in time Enveloped in song Opening, spilling out Airing, parading, breathing Heart trembling, reaching Almost touching - a mirage Fragile fabric turns to dust Shadows falling All is lost

The Lord has really been working on my behalf. I am weak, full of anxiety. He is so right here providing what I need, just when I need it the most. A strange thing tends to happen, when you pay attention to God. Well, today was my Bible study at my house. There are usually only four of us that come. Whenever one or two have missed, there is ALWAYS some reason. Some thing needs to be discussed. God needs the floor, basically. Today, two of our four didn't make it and someone, my mom actually, came. The study was moving slow without the regulars and when we came to a question that is of supreme interest to me, I sort of got off track with it. Looked up a couple of related articles and our time together came alive. I now tend to get suspicious when something out of the ordinary happens.  A couple of posts ago I mentioned not wanting to burden people with my troubles. So the ones I wouldn't have wanted to burden were not here and the one I needed to talk to came. She usually doesn...

If all music could be like this...I could be happy. *Having second thoughts about the above statement. That's not true. I just really like the song. Yes, I would get pretty bored if all music was like this one song! Sing a new song unto the Lord....if you need one the above is a nice one :)

For the past several nights as I lay down to go to sleep and start to doze off, I feel like I can't breathe and startle and wake up. Too much stress, I think. Things are a little out of order in my life which is causing all this.  I ask the Lord, where is Your peace You've promised?  I'm handing it over to Him. I know He is in control and has a plan. I know He can take my tangled up life and create something beautiful with it. Maybe you've experienced or are experiencing something similar.. Here are a few promises to hold onto. Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Philippia...